Urgent Help

Who We Are

 

We are a committed group of ex-boarding school pupils who understand the unique institutional experience of being raised in these environments. Our directors can be seen below on this page.

We believe in the power of connection, and its ability to heal, having ourselves undergone therapeutic and spiritual healing work as adults, after suffering with poor mental health for many years.

We want to support everyone that was cared for in institutions as young people, but thats an enormous task, and we have to start close to home, with what we know and understand. We believe where your greatest wound lays, is also where your gold to offer the world can be found, because you understand better than anyone what the pain feels like, and what amazing strength and resilience it takes to start to understand and heal.

Adverse experiences at these institutions can impact individuals, families and wider-society, often for generations. Good help is out there, but it’s too hard to find, and varies wildly in accessibility and quality. We are here to bring the best of what’s out there into one signposting platform, to market and advocate our cause widely, and to help people in-need to make meaningful connections that support them on their journeys.

History

Founded in late 2023 by a group of ex-boarding school pupils who connected through an online support group.

It began as a discussion amongst a wider group of people from this support group, including professionals from diverse backgrounds including mental health, education, social care and business. All of whom shared a passion for better understanding and advocating good pastoral care in boarding and independent day schools.

As the conversation evolved, it was felt that creating an app would be the way to go, this would be aimed at supporting young people reaching out for help whilst they were still attending these institutions. Providing somewhere safe and supportive to find self-help resources and qualified professionals to speak to.

As we started to build this out, it became clear that the legal and ethical minefield of working with minors who were often in these institutions 24/7 for much of the year, became overwhelming, and the project began to stall.

To answer these questions and overcome these challenges, we began to reach out to our networks and seek support. It became clear that there was an overwhelming need for adults to connect to the right resources to support their path to understanding and healing later in life. We knew ourselves there were good resources, therapists, practitioners and support groups out there, but they were flung far and wide, and often only focused on their own offerings or services.

We looked within at our own journeys to try and find help and healing. We saw how many times we’d reached out for help, both to NHS and private mental health services. Only to not be able to articulate what was going on inside us or within our lives. Then receiving care that was massively varying in quality from well-meaning, but often poorly informed and inexperienced professionals who had no idea about our life as children in these institutions.

We looked at where we, and people around us, had found supportive voices that understood us. We noted how difficult and long the search was to find these groups and resources, and that amazing people were there, but they were hard to find, and you had to know what you were looking for.

The idea and name for Seen & Heard was born from this process. We want people to feel truly seen & heard, to find the support they need quickly, and for the quality and integrity of that support to have been validated for them, so that they can trust in the process and materials available.

Although we are just starting out, we have received great support already from people already working in advocacy and healing for boarding and independent day school ex-pupils. These amazing people paved the way for Seen & Heard to exist, without them, we wouldn’t be here today. A HUGE thanks to all of who have helped us so far, and a big ‘thanks in advance’ to all those who will help us in the future.

Future

We have grand plans for the future, including extending the Seen & Heard ethos and brand out to support other cared for people that didn’t attend boarding schools or independent day schools. This is in Phase 2 of our plan, and is called ‘Seen & Heard Care’. More to come on that in 2025.

As well as signposting on our platform to great content and services that are out there already, we will be creating our own content, and will expand our services and advocacy as far and as fast as our fund-raising will allow. If you would like to support this journey, please go to our donations page.

Chris Braitch – Director, Co-Founder & Project Lead

Chris is 43 years old and attended an independent boarding school from 6-13 years old in the 80’s and early 90’s. He then was a day pupil at an independent day and boarding school from 13-16yrs old, before going on to 6th form college and University to study business and marketing.

He comes from a business background working in sales, marketing and management for 20+ years in the food industry within blue-chip multinationals, as well as UK-based SME’s. Having gone as far as he could go in that world, and following an emotional breakdown in 2021, he has changed his life, retrained, and is now a coach specialising in emotional health, as well as the project lead for Seen & Heard.

Chris is passionate about emotional healing work, psychology, self development and supporting others. Drawing personal experience from a 23-year mental health journey on the client-side that started at University counselling services in 2020 with anxiety and a drink problem. This journey took him through 10+ counsellors and psychotherapists over 20 years, to finally finding the right trauma and boarding school informed coach, men’s work, healing retreats and the use of Emotional Freedom Technique, that have changed his life. He is now committed to supporting others to find hope and healing.

Tobi Tarquin – Director, Co-Founder

Tobi is 62 years old and attended Independent boarding school between 1972 and 1980.

He says…”I spent most of my career in education, working in state and independent schools in the UK and around the world. I was privileged to become a house master in a UK senior boarding school and to be appointed to the headship of three successive schools.

Following enforced early retirement due to ill health I set about forging my second career as an author of novels and I’m pleased to be making real progress in this new endeavour.

It was as a result of serious surgery that I first had to face my long buried past of abuse at school and I have made rapid progress along the path of recognition of the wide ranging damage that it’s caused to so many aspects of my life, accepting that it is, and always must be, a part of who I now am and seeking to “do something” about it, in terms of advocacy, therapy and seeking to support others who have suffered similarly.

I am delighted to have become co-founder of Seen and Heard and look forward to bringing my wide ranging expertise in all things education to support this very valuable project.

Andrew Milbank – Director, Co-Founder

Andrew is 51 years old and attended independent boarding school from 8-18 years old in the 80’s.

Andrew has worked in many areas of social care for 15+ years, and is committed to improving pastoral care, especially in organisations and sectors that have traditionally struggled to maintain high standards.

He is proud to be a co-founder of Seen & Heard, whilst also committed to his director role of NACAS, which predominantly focused on improving the working lives of professional carers.

He found his way to the right psychotherapist and EMDR specialist after struggling with his mental health and relationships for decades. He says that “therapy is helping me enormously to come to terms with my past and making it easier to thrive in the future. I’ve never felt such purpose professionally as I do right now”.

Tiffany Ford – Volunteer, Operations & Special Projects

Tiffany brings over 20 years of international corporate legal and business experience, having worked across global banks, technology, media companies, and start-ups. Her career has taken her to the UK, Europe, the US, and India, giving her a deep appreciation of both Western and Eastern cultures. A native English speaker, she is also conversant in Hindi and French.

Tiffany’s personal life has been touched by the emotional challenges that can affect ex-boarders and their families, giving her a heartfelt understanding of the importance of mental health support for our community. She is passionate about helping to create safe spaces where people can feel heard and supported.

Beyond her professional and volunteer commitments, Tiffany enjoys travel, music, and fostering cats and dogs. She values community, connection, and making a positive difference in the lives of others.

Ashleigh Parsons – Volunteer, Social Media and Podcast Manager

Ashleigh brings over five years of experience working in the sexual abuse charity sector, where she has worked as a frontline support worker, team leader, and manager. Through these roles she has supported survivors directly while also helping shape compassionate, trauma-informed services. Alongside this, Ashleigh has supported charities with their social media, helping organisations share their work and reach the people who need them most.

Ashleigh is a warm and compassionate person who deeply believes in the value of supporting others, regardless of their background or life experiences. She is passionate about creating safe, supportive spaces where people feel listened to, respected, and understood.

Outside of her professional and volunteer work, Ashleigh enjoys spending time being creative through arts and crafts, as well as baking. She values these moments as a way to unwind and bring a little creativity and joy into everyday life.

Our Funders & Supporters